There is a day when summer seems to tilt into fall, and I think that day was today. There was a definite chill in the air when I brought Bady to the backyard this morning. The temperature warmed, but there was still a chill on the wind this afternoon as I ate ice-cream outside with some friends. The morning low tomorrow is predicted to be about 40 degrees.
In some ways it seems that summer has slipped by too fast. Ben's visit has come and gone. Campmeeting is over. The church leaders are putting their eyes towards the important business of the fall ~ Church School, Music Programs, Charge Conference. The lazy days of summer, if not over, are coming to an end. And I think I am glad.
I'm find that the first year after losing my Dad is painful in ways one cannot predict. Of course, this is what everyone tells you but it is hard to understand until it is experienced first hand. Did I have a good Campmeeting? Yes, I did. (But it was different because my Dad was not there as he always had been and, as I thought, he always would be.) Even things that don't directly relate to my Dad are different because I don't have a Dad. As Anne Lamott wrote in one of her fabulous books, "Life is better when you have a Dad."
So this has been my first summer without my Dad. And some other things have happened that I am not prepared to blog about yet.
So I am ready to transition into the fall and watch the leaves turn brilliant colors and die and fall to the ground. And I am ready to watch the first snow fly and prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I am ready to enter another new year and it will be the second year of not having a Dad. And it may not be any better, but it will be different.
There is a day when time begins to heal, and I don't want to rush it.... but I'll be ready for that day when it comes.