Vote Now! (For real!) Make Your Voice be Heard :)

While checking out a new free polling site, Gary developed this silly survey ~ just for fun! I know some of you have opinions about our 'boys,' so text, tweet or visit the site to vote! If you have trouble seeing the code, click on the graph to enter the full screen mode. The boys are waiting!

Try this audience polling system at Poll Everywhere

Slow and Steady

My German Shepherd Dog, Bady, and I have been together for 14 months. As I've shared in previous posts, he has completely changed my life. As Gary put it recently, Bady allowed me the breathing room I needed to heal from years of living with post-traumatic stress. I feel consistently more like myself than I had for seven years. I can get up, go to work, eat, sleep, excercise, visit, laugh ~ on a daily basis ~ all without any debilitating triggers.

During this time, Bady has been a faithful and loyal companion. But Bady has also grown and changed and matured into a full grown German Shepherd male. That is to say that Bady changed, while my way of being with him didn't change. For one thing, he has grown physically. He is not the gangly one-year old he was when I got him. His personality has also changed. He's still a goof ball a lot of the time, but he also takes seriously his role as man of the house ~ especially when Gary is not home, which four days a week since we've moved to Vermont. I've appreciated that safety net, but I also have to let him know that woman of the house trumps man of the house and that's final!

So now it is time for a tune-up for me as a pack leader. We have found an excellent trainer who has years of experience with German Shepherd Dogs. After our initial consultation he declared Bady to be an excellent dog ~ but a lot of dog as well. (His assessment of me was less complimentary :>) When I asked him if Bady was too much dog for me, he responded that it depends on how much work I am willing to do.

Needless to say, I am willing to do whatever work it takes for us to continue to be a team. We've already come a long way in five or six weeks. When we met last Friday our trainer said, "Slow and steady wins the race with this dog." (I suspect that is the case for me as well.) It strikes me that 'slow and steady' is how most things in life are best approached. Just as my healing continues to be a slow and steady process, by God's grace, there are not often easy answers in life. So I'm willing to take things one day at a time.

Faith Autopsy

I would like to share a blog that I have recently been reading. I know the author of this blog from my time in Connecticut. He was lead pastor at a growing emergent church in the area. I attended a couple of his services and, later, served with him on the board of the local conference of churches. While I knew that there were differences in Ben and my theological outlook, I had (and continue to have) great respect for him. I was stunned recently when I heard he was no longer lead pastor of the church. That was went I began reading his blog:

Faith Autopsy

In it I found an honest account of his journey being a gay man in the evangelical tradition. I think this is extremely brave of him ~ to put his story out there for all to read. He affirms that he is both a committed Jesus follower and a gay man who will no longer hide. I hope that others who struggle with how to reconcile their faith with their homosexuality will gain strength and insight from him. Thank you, Ben, for your thoughtfulness, generosity and compassion!

It IS almost Halloween

Apparently Zeke is getting in the spirit of the season....

You look too young ...

...to be a pastor. As the saying goes, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that! It was more difficult to hear when I was a 25 year old student local pastor. I didn't have years of experience to point to back then. Today, as a 34 year old ordained elder, I take it as a compliment. Or, at least, I try to. It is still a little frustrating having moved to a new church ~ in my 10th year of ministry ~ to be asked one of these questions:

"Is this your first church?"
"Are you a recent graduate?"

(To be clear, I don't hear this from my congregation as much as from members of the community, other churches, ecumenical clergy colleagues and people I meet on the street!)

And, truth be told, I don't think I look like a 25 year old seminary student any more. I think I look pretty much all of my 34 years ~ with a few gray hairs peeking out here and there. In fact, I've had people ask me if I have children at the local high school which, technically, I could have.

So this makes me wonder.... How old does one have to look to look old enough to be a pastor? And, not to open up a can of worms, but.... Do my younger male colleagues get this comment as much as my younger female colleagues do? Does this comment just reflect the stereotypes of what a pastor is 'supposed to' look like? And what is a pastor supposed to look like anyway?

For now, I am glad that I can say 'thank you' with a smile when I hear such a comment. "Thank you. I've actually been a pastor for about 10 years. This is the third church I've served."

But I still wonder what's behind it.

Quote of the Week ~ Faith

"That is faith, I suppose, learning how to live in the meantime, between the last time we heard from God and the next time we hear from God."

~ Renita Weems, Listening for God: A Ministers Journey Through Silence and Doubt

3 weeks or 3 months or 3 years

I've been here in Vermont, now, for almost three months. As I shared before, the house is starting to feel like home. I've made connections with a new doctor's office, new hair stylist, new dog trainer. I'm getting used to my new surroundings. I realized the other day, though, while having lunch with a local clergy colleague, just how much pressure I am putting myself to settle- in.

Rev. Nancy has been in her church for three years. While talking, I made an off hand comments that I will 'know better my schedule in a couple weeks.' She lovingly challenged me, saying that she was just now beginning to feel settled after three years.

I admit that I don't deal well with uncertainty. I like to have things nailed down. I want to have this whole settling-in period done. Yet, uprooting your life ~ settling into a new community and starting a new job ~ are not simple transitions. They are messy and exciting and difficult and take time.

I feel like a broken record, but I guess I just have to keep reminding myself to slow down, be easy, and let it all sink in. Last week I read a great definition of discernment. A pastor posting on a lectionary bulletin board wrote that discerment is , "...sticking to the topic we want to
avoid until it begins to open up for us." Perhaps God is trying to teach me something here..... Let's hope I can slow down enough to figure out what it is!

New. New. New.

Last week we got a few new things. Before we moved here we saved up some money ~ and were given som generous gifts ~ to buy some new things for our new home. Each house is different, so each house requires a few new things! For example, at our last house there was a built in corner display unit with a glass door. This was very handy for hiding breakables from the cat! So one of our purchases was a curio cabinet. Also, our new house has the perfect office / guest room, which required a futon! It was fun to shop for both these things and it just happened that both were delivered last week.

(I also visited by new doctor for the first time last week, which made it a week full of new things!)

The most unexpected new thing, though, turned out to be the purchase of a new-to-us car. After six years with us, our '96 Jeep came to the end of it's road. We expected this would happen, just not this soon. We decided $3000 in repairs was just not worth it. I miss the Jeep, but I am happy to have a new set of wheels, which will (I pray) be a bit more reliable.

One of my Facebook friends wrote, "New doctor! New futon! New car! What's next?" Hopefully nothing! Because along with this latest purchase comes new debt, new monthly payments and new frugality!

Adjusting

Gary and I aren't the only ones who have had to adjust to the move. The boys have done pretty well. Zeke has been a trouper. Besides the five hour drive up, Zeke barely noticed that we moved. As long as he has his crunchies and litter box, he's happy.

Nicky, on the other hand, had a more difficult adjustment. He's still figuring out the house. He gets lost going from room to room and we've had a few unfortunate 'accidents' when he couldn't find the door to let us know he needed to go out. It is getting better, though. He's comfortable in his little basement bachelor pad with his crate and feeding station. He spends most of his day happily sleeping down there.

Bady takes his duties as 'man of the house' very seriously. None of us are happy that Gary is gone four days a week, but we make do. The dogs follow me from room to room like shadows. Zeke curls up on Gary's side of the bed to keep it warm. We all jump on Gary and give him kisses when he gets home. (Well, I don't jump on him, but I give him kisses ~ I'm usually the last in line!) Such is life as the Atwoods in Vermont!

Letting my Soul Catch Up

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. Besides moving and starting at a new church, we've had several weeks of visitors, a week of vacation, and the challenge of getting used to Gary's new schedule. Last week, when an afternoon appointment got canceled at the last minute, I found myself collapsed on the couch devoid of all energy. This moment of space in my day gave me the opportunity to check-in with myself. I had the overwhelming sense that I had been going at warp speed for so long that my soul hadn't completely caught up with my body.

I believe the idea that one's soul needs time to catch up with one's physical activities comes out of the Native American tradition. I can't remember where I first read it, but I often think of this exchange. After a day of travel, wanting to know what is next, the Anglo American asks her Native American friend. Her friend replies, "Now we wait for our souls to catch up with our bodies."

I think I am still waiting. That's not to say I'm just sitting around. But I am trying to build some quiet time into my days to connect with my soul and allow myself to absorb all the changes that have taken place. Self-care is a clergy buzz-phrase that springs to mind. Playing catch up, not just with bills and errands, but with the sacred stuff of life takes discipline. So I'm trying to discipline myself in my new surroundings, and not rush ahead so fast that I leave myself behind.

Getting Caught Up

It is hard to believe that my first Sunday at Faith UMC was seven weeks ago. The time has gone by really fast on the one hand, but it also feels like we have been here much longer. The house is starting to feel like home and life is more settled.

The picture is of the Altar decoration from my first Sunday. Each of the different ministry teams presented me with a gift. The gifts were placed on the Altar to make this beautiful display. Now the gifts are decorating my office to remind me of the many and varied ministries of the church. I feel blessed to be part of such a vital community of faith.

On a personal note, we had a good summer visit with Ben. He is 10 years old and growing up! We explored Lake Champlain, attended Campmeeting, and enjoyed time with various sets of grandparents. We also visited the Ben & Jerry's factory and made a trip to the Cabot outlet ~ local Vermont favorites! While I'll never be a 'Woodchuck', I'm starting to feel like a Vermonter!

Summer Vacation

It seems that I forgot how exhausting it is to move to a new place, get used to a new church, and settle in to a new community. My days are full with meeting interesting new people (parishioners and neighbors), finding my way to new places and learning new ways to do things.... Not to mention trips to the DMV and Town Office. There are also the many trips to the shops to stock up on those things we couldn't bring with us and outfit the new house with all those personalized touches.

That is all to say that ~ while I've had fleeting moments of inspiration ~ my thoughts have not been with the blog. And that probably is not going to improve any time soon. Ben has just arrived for his summer stay which will include a trip to Campmeeting and various visits with and from grandparents and friends. All that while continuing to settle in to a new church life will make for a busy five weeks.

I do feel a certain amount guilt when I fail to update my blog regularly. While I realize that nothing I share is particularly earth-shattering, I do feel a certain responsibility toward those of you who take the time to read this... all two of you!! :>) But in the spirit of being easy on myself, I am going to take a summer vacation from the blog. Hopefully by the fall I will be full of ideas and thoughts to share. But for now, I'll see you in September!

Having Faith

The last week has been a whirlwind of moving vans, boxes, late nights and early mornings as we have settled in to our new house. We probably can't claim to be Vermonter's yet, but we are certainly enjoying this new state we will call home for, hopefully, the foreseeable future.

The last week has also been a whirlwind of meeting new people, exploring new places and being very warmly welcomed by the folks of Faith UMC. Whenever settling into a new place, however, I always feels a sense of disorientation. Everything seems to take longer when getting used to a new community. And I've driven by our side street more than once. (Don't tell Gary!)

Yet I have faith that this is where God has called me to be at the time. I have faith that the city of South Burlington will soon feel like home. And I have faith that God is with me and the people of Faith UMC as we make this transition to ministry together at this time and in this place.

Thank for your prayers during our move. I'll be better about updating from now on!

Final Quotes from my Desk

The final packing days are upon me, so I guess I should get rid of these last few scraps of paper cluttering up my desk and post them here. This is quite a random list, and I'm not exactly sure why I felt the need to write all of them down. But in any case.... Enjoy!

"The deep darkness vanished into ordinary daylight, and the mystery of God was only made more splendid." ~ Marilynn Robinson, Gilead

In the meantime, those who weep now are truly blessed, for they see the incongruity between the promised kingdom and things as they stand.

"Anger is not humanizing. It is a rehearsal for the performance that never arrives." ~ Carol Shields

Thank you, O God, for the healing power of your love that is at work in me now.

"Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles." ~ George Jean Nathan